Day 184 & 185

I’ve fallen behind yet again in my posting. I have just returned for the second weekend in a row from Indiana. This time all the way down south for a Family Reunion. I’ll admit my emotions were just sitting under the edge as we rode down what I call the Lynville road getting ever closer to the little town of Selvin, Indiana. I could feel my eyes getting wet.

We drove on past Selvin and onto Santa Claus, Indiana to check into our hotel, Santa’s Lodge. I’ve wanted to stay here for some time, so this one was definitely on my Bucket List, my new thing for Saturday night. After we checked in, we drove back to Selvin, out to Yellow Banks Recreation, where I knew some of the family would be gathered at my Great Aunt Bobbie’s cabin. She just happens to be 98 years old and the last one left of my Grandpa’s siblings.

Once there, seeing family, those emotions spewed out and over and down my face, I had held on as long as I could. My mother always said I was the crier in the family. We stayed for awhile, I got myself in check, off and on depending on who I was talking to or who I was hugging, some were harder to keep it together with than others. I had sat here, in this yard, by the lake over the years listening to my mother laugh and giggle as she talked to her cousins. I had sat in this yard at the picnic table with my cousin Sandy while someone snapped our picture.

The reunion was Sunday and it was my first reunion without my Mom, 2009 was the last time we were there. 2010 and 2011 she was too sick to go and I wouldn’t go without her, because I knew just how much sorrow that would have brought her. When she died in 2011, I just couldn’t bring myself to go without her.

I did return to Indiana once after her death, It was for my Great Aunt Myrle’s Funeral. Just me and the youngest went down and back in one day. I didn’t ask my husband if it was okay, I told him I was going. It was something I knew my Mom would have done, no question about it. She was always there when it came to this sort of thing. I knew I had to go and I hate going to funerals. Doesn’t everyone?

It would be the last time I saw my cousins Esther and Sandy (mother and daughter). I didn’t have a lot of time to spare, but I wanted to make sure I saw them, because Esther’s health was deteriorating quickly and Sandy was fighting back against cancer, I thought it could be the last time I saw either one of them and it was. In the end it was a car accident that sent Sandy on her heavenly journey and that for me was very hard to deal with.

The last two days have been for certain a roller coaster of emotions for me. But in the end I’m glad my cousin Angie told me some time ago to “just get my ass down there, it’s what Sandy would have said.” I’m glad when I told my brother I was thinking about going and did he want to go, he said yes. Which in and of itself shocked me. I’m glad the Hubster went with and did all the driving and I’m glad the 13 year old could witness just how much love I have for Southern Indiana and these family members I have not seen in 7 years and that indeed tears are not only okay they are healing. Going to this reunion without my mother was for certain a new thing for me, but on the long ride home I chose to have a little fun, running the camera while I tried something new……Chicken feet!

 

Go do something new, even if it makes your heart hurt for a bit.

 

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About jlturtlerunner

12 plus Years Surviving Stage IV Oral Cancer. I have become a "Turtle" runner since that diagnosis, as a way of saying, "Take That Sucker!" After 12 years of being a Turtle Runner, I'm adding a new title, Turtle Rucker!

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