Well where do I begin………………I bought a bracelet today. The bracelet part was on clearance for 99 cents and I got the medal message piece for 40 % off with my coupon. I did a little happy dance in my head when I found it. I wish I could show it to you, but its locked in my car. My car is sitting over at Hobby Lobby. A mere 4.4 miles from my house. From whence I just came, I walked home.
My bracelet says, “She Thought She Could So She Did”. I love that saying. I found a plaque a few weeks ago with that written on it and gave it to my friend Stacia for her birthday. I’ll be running a race in May, called She Power, with that same saying on the shirt and the larger than life medal.
Today was sort of one of those days, except it was more of “what the hell else am I going to do!” Everything just laid out for trouble today. With it being Friday, the Hubster normally would have been here at home. I could have called him and bam problem solved. However, he found out he has to go in to work tonight (third shift). Still wouldn’t have been a problem, because he doesn’t go to bed till about 2 or 2:30pm. However, he wanted to take the 13 year old to see the movie Revenant tonight, before it goes to DVD. He went to bed early. I could have still called, but he would never have heard the phone.
I’ve been having trouble with my key not turning in the ignition. I should have gotten it taken care of. I shouldn’t have been driving it. At this point I should say lessoned learned, but I’m an old dog and you know what they say. So instead of calling on a friend or trying to repeatedly calling the house to try and wake him up I said, “what the hell” and locked the car and headed for home. Now 4.4 miles really isn’t that bad. I am a runner, albeit a slow one I still run. I run 5K’s 10K’s and I’ve run 2 half marathons. Problem is I wasn’t wearing running shoes. I wasn’t even wearing shoes with good support. I was wearing pretty shoes, flat, but still pretty. What can I say, sometimes its hard to tell but I’m a girl.A girl who like pretty shoes, silly shoes, amazingly awesome shoes, that are not best for walking long distance.
Needless to say my little ol 4.4 miles seemed more like, well my first half marathon. You know the one, where it’s hot and your feet hurt and you just want to lay down and call it a day? Yeah, that one. I made it to the Walgreens, which was probably 2 1/2 miles into the walk and got some sustenance, a bottle of water and a Kit Kat bar, shoot, I’m not gonna lie, I got two Kit Kat bars. As I paid for my purchase the cashier said, “enjoy this beautiful day”. I kept my mouth shut, for fear I might snap. Lord knows I was trying. It was pleasantly warm for March. I had passed over two creeks I normally whiz by in my car and don’t see and I had smiled when I saw little animal prints encased forever in the sidewalk, but dang it, my own dogs were barkin’. I gimped out the door and slugged down the water and tore open my first Kit Kat and trudged on. At least I was heading now into the residential part of town and the ceaseless noise of cars and trucks driving to fast down the highway was no longer driving me insane.
I made it down the road to the library and walked and found reluctantly I had to walk a few extra steps to head inside and relieve myself of the water I drank up at the Walgreens. I continued on my way and reached the bridge over the river and knew I only had a mile left to go. I knew I would get home, but I was tired, worn out and shoot my feet really hurt.
I kept wondering how I could be surrounded by so much humanity and feel so incredibly alone. There were friends I could have called, but didn’t. I put myself exactly where I was without anyone pushing me to it. As I crossed the bridge the railing was throwing a shadow down where I walked from the sun beating down on it and me and it made me think of the bars of a cell. These cell bars were nothing but shadows, easily broken really because they are just shadows. I thought how it was sort of like some of us and our lives, okay sort of like me. I put myself where I really shouldn’t be and then found myself amazed to think I was trapped with no way out. Sometimes it is as easy as putting one foot in front of the other to get out of these places we put ourselves and sometimes we need a friend and sometimes there is pain in the pursuit. Some of us break free of our prisons and some of us don’t. It was a nice day for a walk.
Posted by jlturtlerunner on March 11, 2016 in Uncategorized and tagged 5K's, asking for help, Cancer, Death, dying, Feeling alone, half marathons, help, Hobby Lobby, Library, living, Running, sorrow, Walgreens.