Originally posted on Feb. 6, 2011, but I’m sure I will do my best to embrace it again this year, and since Keith had his thyroid removed he sets the thermostat a bit higher these days. Smile! I also gave up my membership to the fitness center, so I’m going to have to figure out how to run outside this winter to stay primed for June 2013’s Warrior Dash!

Well 2011 is not only here, but a month in and some of the worst and coldest temps have arrived. In only 3 short months it will be my birthday. My 51st birthday. It seems I just celebrated my 50th just a few weeks ago. I try so hard to grasp each day and hold onto it for all it’s worth, trying to make it stretch and last longer than the moment it seems to last. I have filled my days with so much activity. It seems to make my days fly by too fast, but I don’t want to sit around with nothing to do waiting for winter to be over. Before winter hit I told Keith I was going to embrace winter this year. I have always hated it. I refused to go out at times changing my mind about doing things, just because it was cold outside. I sat around the house and spent all my time wishing for spring, for summer, wishing winter to be over.

I have spent valuable time wishing. I hate being cold. Since my cancer I would get colder than I did before. Keith sets our inside temp to 67 degrees and as the days faded to night I would get colder and colder and crabbier and crabbier. The last couple years I could be seen sitting around the house grumpy, doing nothing but climbing into bed, to get under the covers and wearing a stocking cap to stay warm. This year Aden gave me something similar to a snuggie or snuggle I can’t think of the name, mine is an off brand but it is wonderfully, explicitly WARM! Under that thing my brain can function. I am not grumpy. Of course I can’t walk around with it on, but I can sit and read, and read and read or sit in the living room with Keith and Aden and watch a good movie and eat popcorn with them instead of sitting in my bedroom in hibernation, speaking to no one. I am no longer grumpy! (Well because of being cold anyway). I have been outside shoveling almost every time it has snowed. I have stepped outside when someone has told me, “oh it’s COLD” and thought to myself, hmmmm it doesn’t feel that bad. Right before Christmas, with snow on the ground and the temps in the high 20’s I suggested that Aden and I actually walk 1 1/2 miles to and 1 1/2 miles back from McDonald’s for lunch. Anyone who knows me well would have thought I had lost my mind, (maybe I was even thinking it when I suggested it). I have considered a few times this winter, to do my run outside. I’ve backed down from that idea, but not due to the cold, but due to thinking about having to run in the road, worried about the idiot drivers who might run me over. I value my life now more than ever. So I go to the fitness center and stare out the window at the idiot drivers while I run on the treadmill.

Why now, why this year have I, in my own way, “embraced” winter? I want to live each day, to take it all in, to be thankful for the days God has given me. I want to be, and AM grateful for these days. I no longer want to “wish my life away”. Hating winter is, for me, a wishing away of these blessed days of life. I try and do find joy somewhere in the day.  I try to accept each day and what ever it brings, even blizzards. It was beautiful to watch, fascinating to listen to the wind, fun to snuggle up with Aden when the power went out and realize with all the snow I could see the coyotes in the field so much better than I could before! Life is good when I can change my attitude and start looking beyond the cold.

Advertisements

About jlturtlerunner

12 plus Years Surviving Stage IV Oral Cancer. I have become a "Turtle" runner since that diagnosis, as a way of saying, "Take That Sucker!" After 12 years of being a Turtle Runner, I'm adding a new title, Turtle Rucker!

Comments are closed.