Originally posted May 6, 2010

I’m on the last of my classes at Community College, for this semester. This particular class meets in a room off of the library. I have been coming here every Tuesday evening since January. At first I was indeed freezing my hinie, walking as quickly as I could from the parking lot in complete darkness and now ending in beautiful May with the sun shining on my back and walking as slow as the little turtle I am, as I enter the building, where I will remain for 2 1/2 hours listening to the mundane chatter of two, that if their life depended on it I don’t think they could keep their lips zipped, women.

My clothing style is a bit frumpy at times, other times I think I’m really styling and I quite believe it when my 7 year old says, “wow, you look pretty Mom!” Sometimes I probably dress a bit young for my age (when the clothes came from the Jr. Dept. one has to wonder) and sometimes I dress to indeed try to make a statement. Those who know me, they know I have my own thing going on and I don’t really care what people think of my clothing choices.

This particular evening I was wearing a camouflage t-shirt with the words FIGHT CANCER emblazoned across the front. Above that statement was the little Relay for Life emblem for the American Cancer Society. This was one of those nights I chose to silently spread the word and make my statement. Once the shirt is on, it reminds me, not that I need reminding, but it reminds me more. There is mixed feelings, that I have read among cancer survivors on the use of words like fight and battle. Some hate those words in connection with their cancer. For me it is a personal decision and my right to chose how I decide my feelings toward this awful disease will be. No one has the right to take that away from me, nor do I think anyone ever would.

I wouldn’t have thought too much about it this particular evening, except as I climbed the, way too many stairs for anyone named J.L. and now over 50, the Circulation Clerk told me she like my shirt and it put it on my mind while I walked to the bathroom, my normal routine for attending class. I go to the bathroom before I leave home but yes once here it seems like a good idea to do that again. I call it my nervous pee.

There seemed to be an unusual amount of people in the library tonight. I suppose some are frantically working to finish end of term papers, ( I can relax mine is done). Yet one gentleman appears to be here only with the intention of making out with his gal pal. Ahh, young lo……hey wait that’s not young love! By the looks of them, I’d say they were at best in their 30’s! Hey get out of the library and get a room, will ya! Ah, where was I? Oh yes on my long journey back from the bathroom and obviously my thoughts and eyes wandering, I noticed a laptop in front of a young girl, whom I’d have to say reminded me of certain young people of the 60’s. You know, Hippies. A 2010 Hippie – updated. Why must I continue to share my generation to these young people who have not lived through the 60’s and 70’s and Viet Nam. Well I guess they do have the right, now we have Afghanistan and Iraq, but I wonder, it just doesn’t seem the same. So many of us seem to take it all sitting down. In this economy, if the wars all ended, I wonder where would all these, “serving our country”, men and women find jobs?

This young lady’s laptop had a very hard to miss bumper sticker plastered to the top. It read, really seemed to SHOUT at anyone who saw it, WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER.Well it didn’t take my brain long to wrap around a thought process on that one. I indeed wondered what this young child might have to say if this old lady in her camo shirt with the words, FIGHT CANCER, slowly and deliberately walked up to her with head held high and quietly (I AM in the library after all, but also quiet words sometimes speak so very loudly), pointing to my shirt and saying, “sometimes, war is indeed MY answer”. Ahh well, she probably wouldn’t get “it”. This message I felt compelled to share with her. Best leave her alone as she is probably already in panic mode about that final paper she just started working on, that happens to be due tomorrow morning. I hope and pray cancer is never a word she will have to make a statement about for personal reasons. Besides I wouldn’t want her calling 911 on the senile lady in the library. Can you get service in the library? Is it against the rules to use your cell in the library? I guess now I’ll never know.

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About jlturtlerunner

12 plus Years Surviving Stage IV Oral Cancer. I have become a "Turtle" runner since that diagnosis, as a way of saying, "Take That Sucker!" After 12 years of being a Turtle Runner, I'm adding a new title, Turtle Rucker!

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